Celebrating Independence
On this weekend, I will be traveling to my home state of Louisiana to a town just on the outskirts of New Orleans which from what I hear are bursting at the seams in Katrina evacuees. LaPlace for the most part is very much country living although most there would not want to believe. It has been ten years since I had relocated from this area in which I was raised. While there, as with many small towns, the expectations for others were very low. It was predicted that I was not to live past the age of seventeen and if I did my life would be nothing worth mentioning. To the amazement of all there, I was the first in my family along with my mom and sister to attend and complete a degree from a four year college. Yet again, breaking the forces that had my life planned for destruction, I attended and completed graduate school. These accomplishments would be monumental in most cases, but in a small town like LaPlace it seems to be the seed of envy.
Attending college, as many of you may know, is no easy feat. There were many days when family was unavailable to assist with living and college expenses and those who could just simply refused to do so. I recall being in undergrad and being asked my own dad ‘what does your education have to do with me.’ Now being the first in his entire family to attend and complete college twice, I would think the pride alone of this accomplishment would have a lot to do with you. Yet when my first job came along at Upscale Magazine, he was first in line calling for a copy of my issues. Graduation, he is the last to put up cash to travel to Atlanta but the first to argue over pictures that my siblings and aunt took.The same occurred for my MFA degree; he did not attend but argued over photos. He never put a single dollar towards my college education.
It lately had been brought to my attention that he along with others was spreading the word that I am gay. The issue that I have is not that you could possibly be stating facts, but is an issue of motives. It is not as if I was called and asked by these people if the rumors were true or not. I am talking about people that I have not spoken to in years. It is of no interest to them if my bills are paid, if I am eating or in good health, neither is it of interest if I am mentally sound or accomplishing my goals. It is more important to these people to know who I decide to love and lie down with. Now we are talking about folks who never completed high school, never lived away from there parents more than five years, can get a decent job to save their lives and raised children who are common criminals and whores. It is great to see that the knowledge, or of lack there of, of my gayness has enriched so many lives. I would love to think that this info has inspired them to get their GED, continue on to college, receive great jobs and that they would prosper forever more. Yet the reality is that it has not. They are still living the lives that I left them with ten years earlier and their progeny have found it worthy to follow in their footsteps, accomplishing nothing.
Sometimes I think about my life and I can only thank God for the mother that he has given me. When all others told me that I could not achieve, she set the path for my achievements. When after her divorce all thought that she was too dependent to survive on her own, she showed me that a setback is only opportunity for greatness. Therefore I thank God for giving her the wisdom to rear an independent young man. So if my independence says that I am gay, then you are damn right I am. Maybe some of these KATRINA STIRRING, FEMA CHEATING, DEPENDENT “CHILDREN OF GOD” can get off of their asses and become productive independent/gay members of society and stay out of my business, unless they can add more positive blessings into my life.
Independence IS Dapper!!!
On this weekend, I will be traveling to my home state of Louisiana to a town just on the outskirts of New Orleans which from what I hear are bursting at the seams in Katrina evacuees. LaPlace for the most part is very much country living although most there would not want to believe. It has been ten years since I had relocated from this area in which I was raised. While there, as with many small towns, the expectations for others were very low. It was predicted that I was not to live past the age of seventeen and if I did my life would be nothing worth mentioning. To the amazement of all there, I was the first in my family along with my mom and sister to attend and complete a degree from a four year college. Yet again, breaking the forces that had my life planned for destruction, I attended and completed graduate school. These accomplishments would be monumental in most cases, but in a small town like LaPlace it seems to be the seed of envy.
Attending college, as many of you may know, is no easy feat. There were many days when family was unavailable to assist with living and college expenses and those who could just simply refused to do so. I recall being in undergrad and being asked my own dad ‘what does your education have to do with me.’ Now being the first in his entire family to attend and complete college twice, I would think the pride alone of this accomplishment would have a lot to do with you. Yet when my first job came along at Upscale Magazine, he was first in line calling for a copy of my issues. Graduation, he is the last to put up cash to travel to Atlanta but the first to argue over pictures that my siblings and aunt took.The same occurred for my MFA degree; he did not attend but argued over photos. He never put a single dollar towards my college education.
It lately had been brought to my attention that he along with others was spreading the word that I am gay. The issue that I have is not that you could possibly be stating facts, but is an issue of motives. It is not as if I was called and asked by these people if the rumors were true or not. I am talking about people that I have not spoken to in years. It is of no interest to them if my bills are paid, if I am eating or in good health, neither is it of interest if I am mentally sound or accomplishing my goals. It is more important to these people to know who I decide to love and lie down with. Now we are talking about folks who never completed high school, never lived away from there parents more than five years, can get a decent job to save their lives and raised children who are common criminals and whores. It is great to see that the knowledge, or of lack there of, of my gayness has enriched so many lives. I would love to think that this info has inspired them to get their GED, continue on to college, receive great jobs and that they would prosper forever more. Yet the reality is that it has not. They are still living the lives that I left them with ten years earlier and their progeny have found it worthy to follow in their footsteps, accomplishing nothing.
Sometimes I think about my life and I can only thank God for the mother that he has given me. When all others told me that I could not achieve, she set the path for my achievements. When after her divorce all thought that she was too dependent to survive on her own, she showed me that a setback is only opportunity for greatness. Therefore I thank God for giving her the wisdom to rear an independent young man. So if my independence says that I am gay, then you are damn right I am. Maybe some of these KATRINA STIRRING, FEMA CHEATING, DEPENDENT “CHILDREN OF GOD” can get off of their asses and become productive independent/gay members of society and stay out of my business, unless they can add more positive blessings into my life.
Independence IS Dapper!!!
posted by Motionphics at 11:33 AM
6 Comments:
You are from Louisiana and you know the saying, people are like crabs. When one tries to go anywhere, the others are always trying to hold that one back. It sounds like some of those people are stuck in their mundane cycle of life. By you doing something interesting with your life gives them something to talk about. Almost like giving them a reason to live. After all, everyone there already knows their business.
VERY intriguing write-up. And, above all, intelligently written, seemingly with no (or very little) animosity. I think that once of the biggest truths we must learn is: we came into this world alone, and we will die alone. With that in mind, I'd like to say that we truly can't depend on anyone for support, except for our individual self. Only I can depend on Me for praise, and accomplishing goals. Keep your head up. And don't worry about those with ill motives.
Its sad but education seems not to be valued in most familys of color. In my own family, making babies is valued more than degrees (guess you can imagine how popular I am in my family). Your achievements brings forth their shortcomings, and the only way to make themselves feel better is to bring someone else down. stay strong man.
jay
1 is the lonliest number but yet is probably the most noticed. Dont let them bring you down (takes a dose of my own medicine). Weird how people that have nothing but good things to say about you until they find that one bad thing and then its a all nigt party!
Keep ya chin up
Fuzzy,
put some clothes on, already! sheesh!
I'm gonna need you to post again! Soon, please!!!
Post a Comment
<< Home